Learn to Love a Challenge (and Stop Being Scared)
In my last post, I discussed the idea of embracing change.
But the ideas of change and challenge are not so far apart.
With change often comes a challenge.
In this post, I want to explore the idea of embracing challenges more deeply.
Consider this example: If I’m outside in open fields, and hail suddenly begins to fall, this is a change in the environment that presents me with a personal challenge.
It may be natural for most people to feel scared in this situation.
But I have learned to be open to change, so I welcome the challenges that will likely unfold. (Though I have never been in this “hail” example, I’m using it as a point of discussion.)
This is a practice. I see a change and the challenges coming with it, and I welcome and embrace them, not getting stuck on seeing the bad, risks, and problems. Instead, I also perceive the good, growth, and solutions.
I can see the hail and think: Countless animals and people have had to deal with this. I can figure out a way forward too!
Change and challenges are going to happen either way. So it helps to have an adventurous and positive spirit toward them. Through time, I taught myself that for any challenge that comes my way, I can overcome it.
I can, and I will.
A new challenge is an opportunity to learn, grow, and perhaps even have fun. With this mindset, eventually you learn to LOVE the challenges that come your way. At the very least, you stop getting SCARED just because you face something new and difficult.
Yet, someone who closes himself off to new changes is not welcoming to the challenges that could arise.
In that case, when the hail begins to fall, he may think: Oh no! This is going to hurt, and there’s nowhere to go….
This person has likely not dealt properly with challenges in the past. Sometimes when they came up, he avoided them. Other times, he got someone else to solve the problem without learning anything new. And other times, he barely got through it while being scared and overly worried. Through time, this person taught himself that he could not deal with challenges. When new challenges arise then, he doesn’t feel ready.
For him, a new challenge is a burden, a threat, and a disaster waiting to happen.
Who is more likely to figure out the way forward and find safety from the hail? The person who is closed off to changes and challenges, or the person who is open to them?
Every day, some “hail” arises in our lives, and it is up to us to overcome the challenge. In time, we can even learn to triumph through challenges, becoming calm, focused, and energized through issues as they arise.
When the hail begins to fall…
Do we take a moment to look around for shelter in the form of trees, buildings, or any object that can protect us, or does the challenge overwhelm us, and we get pummeled by falling ice, convinced that there is nothing we can do?
How do you deal with life challenges?
If you suffer a minor injury or illness, can you get through it smoothly?
How do you react when you expect a friend to help you with something, and at the last moment they are unable to?
If you are required to learn something new for school or work, and you cannot make progress in the way you expected, what do you do?
When you work hard and do everything right and are not rewarded for your efforts, how do you feel, and how does that impact your life?
If someone lies to you, then when you confront them, they continue to tell more lies, how do you deal with that?
If you take a moment to explore these “challenges” more deeply, hopefully, you will conclude that none of these is all that bad in the grand scheme. You can even see these situations as a good challenge because you should be able to learn something and come back stronger from all of them.
You may even take the opportunity to be grateful and think: However overwhelming this challenge is, fortunately, I am in the position to have family and friends, advisors, and resources to deal with it.
We must learn how to handle fairly minor life challenges to prepare ourselves for the larger ones.
Consider the following possible challenges, not to stress you out, but to keep some perspective and dig deeper into some larger life challenges people can go through:
Divorce or breakup
Death of a loved one
Loss of life savings or a job
Being threatened / Feeling unsafe
Lack of basic needs such as food and shelter
In the past few months, I’ve known multiple people who needed to take on these challenges or were close to someone who did (except for the last point, though a close friend of mine was homeless for years).
For a moment, even I felt unsafe this past month when I received a call from a spammer who knew my full name without me providing it. My gut told me he was not who he pretended to be, which was a representative at Amazon.
This was an excellent opportunity for me to practice “dealing with a challenge,” as I confidently told him that even though he had my name and phone number, I would not give him any further personal details.
He became angry with me, accusing me of not trusting him. I calmly explained that anyone could access my name and phone number, so I would not give him further information.
As I spoke, he realized he could not trick me, and he hung up the phone.
Has any little challenge like this happened in your life lately? How did you handle it? Are you happy with your reaction, or is there room for improvement?
Perhaps sometimes you have not dealt well with challenges. If so, that is okay. I’ve been there, as I’m sure everyone has. I used to suffer from social anxiety – a vicious cycle of avoiding social situations and becoming even more frightened of them.
I’m not here to judge if you are still learning to deal with life’s challenges. The only reason I’m able to discuss this topic with such clarity is because I’ve been through the trenches myself. I know what it’s like, and there is a path forward.
Consider this: If you have made past mistakes and not risen up to the challenge and moved forward, then today’s post presents you with a tremendous learning opportunity.
Many of us don’t seem to understand that we teach ourselves as we go.
You teach yourself who you are through your decisions, and how you react to life’s situations.
Every moment is the chance to take a new course of action that changes what you thought you knew about yourself. One of my prior posts discussed how every moment presents a choice.
I used to be a person who was too shy to talk to someone new until I spoke to someone new, again and again, eventually with confidence. In time, I was no longer scared of facing the challenge of having a conversation with someone.
You can always take your skills as deeply as you wish. Through life circumstances, I lived in Mexico for a few years, often meeting new people while speaking my second language. Then, I lived in France for a couple of years, where I sometimes spoke to people in my third language, which was an even greater challenge.
That approach of facing challenges directly eventually made me a person unafraid and unconcerned with facing new changes and challenges. Or even if sometimes afraid, I was willing to push through anyway.
WHO are you when challenges come your way?
Are you someone who faces it, understanding that this is an opportunity for growth, and overcomes it? Perhaps even LOVING the process, or assisting others to view challenges in a positive way?
Or if you find yourself struggling, are you someone who communicates your concerns with people you trust and who want to help you, or do you stay quiet about your needs? In this case, are you willing to do the work to improve the way that you deal with challenges?
Or are you uncertain, unable to move forward, and simply stuck? Are you SCARED to face the challenge?
And as many people can be complex, your reaction to changes may depend. Maybe you are good at dealing with certain changes and the challenges that unfold. Still, perhaps you are not adaptable and effective with other types.
Ultimately, it is during times of hardship, stress, and uncertainty that we learn who we are.
How did you deal with your last life challenge, whether minor or major?
What did that teach you about who you are?
Did you like who you were when problems entered your life, or did you wish to handle them differently?
You have taught yourself who you are up to this point. Did you teach yourself something worthwhile? – That you are a person highly capable of dealing with challenges?
Or did you teach yourself something that is worth unlearning and reconsidering? – That you are a person who crumbles under the weight of new challenges, and is incapable of overcoming them.
Hopefully from here on, you can handle new challenges more directly and confidently, ask trusted people for advice or help, view the challenge as an opportunity for learning and growth, and so forth.
You have the power to change how you perceive changes and challenges. And you can triumph over them. I hope this post helps you to learn to love a challenge and stop being scared of it.
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